The Air | Humor
It has come to my attention in recent weeks, what seems to be trending in NYC, other than winter pastels, is heartbreak. It’s everywhere, like Ebola in Africa. Last night, as I was eating a pound of fresh mozzarella alone in my kitchen, the neighbors came home screaming about how not to racially profile Mexicans. The fight lasted about 20 minutes, and came to its close with a friend of the couple breaking it up. The boyfriend stormed out, and the girlfriend hysterical and sobbing, went upstairs screaming she would never call him a Mexican again. I tried not to listen, but honestly after the 25 episode of The Mindy Project, I was in desperate need of real life entertainment.
The following night at Acme, dressed in my vintage white fur, and gold Loubs, I was dancing, (well doing a very small two step because let’s be honest those are F*ck me heels, not actual walking shoes,) I overhead a couple fighting in the corner. I was trying to listen in a classy way, you know, where you pretend you know someone coming into the club, and inch ever closer as you simultaneously wave awkwardly at noting. What I could decipher was this: “I said I was sorry for giving you Chlamydia, how are you still mad?” As these words came out of the mans mouth, some of my Manhattan just slowly dribbled down my chin, like a baby in need of serious attention or DSS removal. The couple continued to argue, but I had had enough, (plus I didn’t want to get to close to this STI infected freak,) so I walked away wondering what in the world was happening. What is it New York City, where is the love?
Like Nina Simone says, “I put a spell on you, because you’re mine,” Could just be the best advice anyone gave us (either that or that song sparked the whole series Law and Order SVU), So the question remains, how do we keep our chins up, souls light, and passions strong with all the heart break in New York City?
10 Steps to Pass a Chic Weekend Heartbroken
1st Step is to call in your funniest friends, the friend that can make any situation better, no matter how bad it is. For me I call in Bear. Bear and I have been BFF for 21 years and going strong. Laughter will make everything fell better, and someone that knows you well will make you comfortable.
2nd Classy Saturday Breakfast Getting up early and spending the day doing things that make you feel good will give you the illusion of being in control of your life. Sleeping in after heartbreak is a pity party.
3rd Tracy Anderson DVD Work that ass out! The best revenge is a better body. Tracy is a personal favorite, but just hitting the gym will get the endorphins flowing!
4th Mani Pedi Immediately Ideally it should be about 10:30 am, hit up your local nail salon, and get your paws taken care of. Attention to the small details always helps the bigger things fall in place.
5th Hair. Just get a blow out, that simple.
6th Shop & Splurge if you are anything like me, there is that one thing you have had your eye on for a while now. For me, it’s been the Proenza PS1, just buy it. Be smart about your purchases, but treat yourself.
7th Underwear head to any chic lingerie store and buy a new set. Studies have shown that woman feel better when they look sexy underneath.
8th Make plans its girl’s night. Look up some fun low calorie cocktails to have that night at the bar with your girls! Something to look forward to always keeps your mind off him.
9th Mood board GO to local craft store and magazine shop, cut out favorite quotes, pictures that inspire you, and goals you have for the future, and put together and amazing mood board that you can look at, and feel motivated by.
10th SMILE. No seriously. It’s usually the last thing that anyone wants to do after being hurt, but it’s the first thing you need to get back out there. Men love woman who can throw their heads back and laugh. Be genuine, have fun, and smile when it hurts.
My Spots
Here are a few of my go to locals!
Eat: Esperanto 145 Avenue C, New York, NY 10009
