SINGLE LADIES
/-Weds April 16th 2014
Single Ladies
I was going about my normal person food shopping business today at the Whole Foods on second ave., when a man fully ran over my foot and half my leg with a mini shopping cart. FIRST, What is a “mini shopping cart?” I grew up in a suburb of Boston where we have the real life sized carts, where suburban gluttons pile it all in, this was not a normal sized cart. Why this is relevant, is because I’ve had previous grocery store accidents all involving larger scale food shopping machinery, but this little thing packed a significant punch! So I’m standing in the isle with a throbbing leg, staring at what was considered an attractive New York City man. Stylish, good in cart healthy selections, nice jeans, sporting some scruff and a tortured East Village artist persona. It was here I came to a life altering realization. Old me, in this case meaning single me, would have fully romanticized this painful interaction. Blindsided by fantasies of years down the line at our wedding toast, friends all gathered round, laughing about how we first met at Whole Foods in a cart on cart collision. Something like love as first sight over Kenwa and kale chips. However now, I find myself in an amazing relationship, and the question at hand is was it ever romantic? I’ve decided the answer is no. All the unintentional, dangerous, embarrassing, life-threatening things men have done were never on purpose; nobody was trying to be cute. Now I'm the dumb girl in the grocery store with a sore toe, and nightmares of divorce! The point is, I'm done being an un realistic romantic, however if I ever find myself single again, and you want to date me, your best bet it to hit me in Soho with your car, lets be honest ude get a date. xxx