I was going about my normal person food-shopping business today at the Whole Foods on Second Ave., when a man fully ran over my foot and half my leg with a mini-shopping cart. FIRST, What is a “mini-shopping cart?” I grew up in a suburb of Boston where we have the real-life sized carts, where suburban gluttons pile it all in, this was not a normal sized cart. Why this is relevant, is because I’ve had previous grocery store incidents, all involving larger scale food shopping machinery, but this little thing packed a significant punch! So I’m standing in the isle with a throbbing leg, staring at what is considered an “attractive New York City man”. Clean, stylish, healthy food in cart,nice jeans, sporting some scruff and a tortured East Village artist persona. It was here I came to a life altering realization. Old me, in this case meaning single me, would have fully romanticized this painful interaction. Blindsided by fantasies of years down the line, at our wedding toast,; friends all gathered round, laughing about how we first met at Whole Foods in a cart-on-cart collision. Something like love as first sight over Kenwa and kale chips. However now, I find myself in an amazing relationship, and the question at hand is; was it ever romantic? I’ve decided the answer is no. All the unintentional and intentional, dangerous, embarrassing, life-threatening things men have done were never cute. Now I'm the dumb girl in the grocery store with a sore toe, and nightmares of divorce! The point is, I'm done being an unrealistic romantic, however if I ever find myself single again, and you want to date me, your best bet is to find me in Soho on a Sunday, and hit me with your Porsche. Let's be honest, you would probably get a date. How can one not romanticize a hit and run? "Driver roll up the partition please." xxx
Off The Market VS. Ready To Mingle
